This hazy, half-drifting summer is over.
As usual, it deserves a brief reckoning. The things I meant to finish still aren’t finished. Even so, the summer wasn’t empty.
Along with the usual gatherings and long stretches at home, there was finally one new thing this year: a part-time job. It was an easy job—Xiaochuan called it the kind of work you could do in retirement. But I still learned a lot from it.
I found out just how much an assistant actually has to handle, and at the same time felt relieved that I’m not one. I found out how much a project lead has to take care of too, and again felt relieved that I’m not the one in charge. I only worked one day a week. In the quieter moments, I could look out the window and see blue sky, the sea, and sailboats. It was genuinely nice.
Yiyo hasn’t been very happy. When we’re together, she looks happy enough, but there must still be things weighing on her. I hope she gets through it. Saying only that feels a little irresponsible. All I can really do is wish her well in silence. Funny—put that way, it sounds almost melodramatic.
As for my own problem, it seems like this time it’s really been resolved. I’ve never felt this light before. Both the end of high school and the start of college seem to need a transition like this: learning certain things, forgetting certain things; holding on to some people, letting go of others. If you have something, treasure it. If you can’t have it, don’t force it.
When I’m by myself, I still get a little lonely. But at least now I understand something: no one is going to stay by my side forever.
Even so, the makeup exam and the Level-2 C programming test are still hanging over me, with no real progress yet. But I believe that once school starts, things will get better.