A friend recently told me that his salary had disappeared long before the end of the month because dating had become too expensive. Whenever they went somewhere that required spending, he was the one reaching for his wallet, while his girlfriend showed no intention of contributing. I could understand why he felt frustrated. In many people’s minds, a man paying for the material needs of a relationship is still considered normal—but that does not mean he must always pay for everything.
Part of this expectation comes from traditional ideas about the roles of men and women. In earlier matriarchal societies, women played an important role in labor and production. As social structures gradually shifted toward patriarchy, men were often expected to provide the material necessities of life, from finding food to securing a place to live. Women, meanwhile, were more commonly associated with maintaining the household and caring for children.
Those old divisions have continued to influence modern attitudes. When men go out with their partners, many feel that they should pay whenever possible. Some even feel that refusing to let them pay is an affront to their dignity, because they have unconsciously learned to see financial responsibility as part of being a man.
Dating during school years, especially at university, can make this expectation difficult to sustain. Young couples may want to share meals, go on dates, watch movies, and spend time together, but most of these activities require money. For families with comfortable finances, such expenses may seem insignificant. Not every household, however, can easily afford to support a couple’s lifestyle.
When both partners have limited financial resources, it may be more practical to pool what they can afford and plan their spending together. Sharing expenses does not necessarily make a relationship less romantic. On the contrary, it can encourage communication, reduce pressure on one person, and help both people learn how to manage a life together before marriage. Paying for a date can be a considerate gesture, but it should be a choice—not an obligation placed entirely on one partner.